Happy Halloween.
Actually, no. Halloween this year can suck my hairy balls.
One of the worst things is seeing your family cry. Especially when you are powerless to do anything to make it better. Being mediator between family members is also a difficult job. I’m in no space to take care of others let alone myself, but I’m surprised I managed to help. Well I like to think my comforting skills helped…
It’s really disconcerting seeing your mother cry. She’s my rock, constantly there for me. But today, I felt so alone and powerless. More than ever before. It’s like something dies inside of you. You realise your mother isn’t impervious to the evils of the world.
It’s funny, having told my mother and brother just now that everything will be okay and that things will get better. I have that told to me quite often and I never believe it. It’s hard to believe that, when your brain is telling you otherwise. I’m sure most people can relate to that.
I feel like I wasted my therapist session this week, and now when I really need someone to talk to, there’s no one there.
Forever a gnome.
I’m so happy to see you utilizing your blog again, it’s been forever :)
But I’m sorry that you’re going through such a hard time at home. It’s always tough to see mothers cry- the first time I saw mine cry, I was absolutely gobsmacked.
I know it’s hard to find a bright side but in comforting your family, you experience a lot of growth as a person. You’re stronger because you can support the people who love you. The downside is the incredible burden it has on your own mind. And for that, you need to make sure that you actually have an outlet like a therapist (if you need one) and/or anything that can help you through. Blogs, journals, your photography… I’m a big supporter of self-help and positivity and I really believe that if you have the mindset to do it, you can do anything you want and be as strong and resilient as you want to be.
Hope everything has been looking up since Halloween,