This lady makes me want short hair again. I’d love to be able to pull off a Mia Farrow hair cut. Damn you! It’s taken me so long to grow my hair out and now I want to cut it? The woes of being a female. This always happens doesn’t it? The ‘wanting what you can’t have’ thing. That sucks.
At least my cold is getting a little better, no more sore throat! But now I have a more painful, more embarrassing malady. Woe is me etc etc
I need to update my pro flickr account soon. I don’t know if I should, I plan to make a website for my photography etc really soon anyway and having a flickr seems a tad redundant. Sometimes I think my stuff is no where near good enough to make my own website and convince people to buy prints. I’ve even been considering setting up a facebook page to go along with the said website. But then my self doubting has to take precedence doesn’t it. What if no one ‘likes’ it? Ah fuck you popularity and friends! I don’t need you! I just want a little validation, man! I want to know if my ‘photographs’ are actually good and that I could go somewhere with it.
There is rarely a day that goes by that I actually like my photographs/drawings/art/pretentious hipster creative outlet things. Having low self confidence doesn’t help that of course, but I guess that’s the curse of being ‘an artist’ or ‘a photographer’ or whatever. I mean there are so many really young and talented people out there who have so much of their work published in magazines and on websites etc. And most of the time they’re 16-17 but even then, the can be even younger. They’re still in school! Most of the time it’s just a hobby to them! They have other hopes and dreams and other career aspirations. I have nothing else going for me! Photography is all that I have. Don’t take that away from me you tiny bastards!
Hopefully I get through this course and have a diploma in photography or whatever it says. Then I’ll feel a bit better I think. “Those pro photographers think I’m okay! I must have -some- talent!’. That is what I will say to myself. I shall be a professional amateur in no time!
Ah fuck that, I’m gonna watch Total Wipeout and drink.
